Comfort
by Nenshou Mirai
Summary: "What I have done is for the good of the village right? If I hadn't, there would have been war and countless lives would have been lost in a dead man's fight. He saved the majority and most importantly his precious brother…right?" Warning: Self harm, swearing and Yaoi R&R please


**Hello Again ^^**

**This is a request from a good friend who I managed to convert to KisaIta :D I deserve a cookie for such a feat. Well without further ado…WARNINGS:**

**KisaIta=Yaoi so if you don't like don't read**

**Self-harm**

**Swearing **

**The oh-so-sexy Kisame and Itachi**

**An Incredible Amount of OOC-ness**

**I hope you enjoy ^^**

Itachi hissed as he drew the cold, glinting kunai over his wrist. It hurt but that was the point. If he didn't hurt on the outside he would tear himself apart on the inside.

He watched with unblinking red eyes as the dark red blood seeped slowly out of slit on his wrist and oozed down in the equally slow moving river. The former Konoha ninja leaned back against a rock and let out a small shiver as the wind whipped up mercilessly, in turn, sending his hair into disarray.

Itachi's cloak was long ago discarded and lay in a heap a few feet away from the weasel. Itachi vaguely felt like he should be worried about Kisame finding him. After they finished their usual assassination he was suddenly overcome with the urge to cut.

He could barely conceal the anxiety welling up inside of him when they walked at an agonizingly slow pace until they found a good spot to set camp for the night inside a cave hidden by the think bushes and trees of the forest. The sharingan user had then hurriedly told his partner that he needed to clean his kunai. He then left before his confused partner could respond.

That was a big mistake. Kisame knew for a fact that Itachi never cleaned his kunai right away, the weasel always waited until they at least built a fire and ate a bit so he wouldn't have to worry about it later. 'This will surely set off a red flag.' He thought with little concern despite a small part of him who was worried. Even if Kisame knew something was up he knew the shark man would never confront him about it later and he would certainly not follow him, at least, not right away. Kisame knew his partner liked returning to a set up camp.

The former leaf ninja focused his attention on the small slit that joined the many others that marred his formerly flawless skin upon his arm. He didn't remember when he started or even why at first. The first cut had been accidental and the second had been experimental. He quickly learned of the temporary relief it brought him. His mind would focus the entirety of its attention on his wound and take it away from his internal turmoil. What I have done is for the good of the village right? If I hadn't, there would have been war and countless lives would have been lost in a dead man's fight. He saved the majority and most importantly his precious brother…right?

Shaking his head furiously, he dug his fingers into the small slit to peel some of the skin back. He shouldn't think about that then all of this would be pointless. He closed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. This was his time. No unpleasant thoughts were supposed to invade his thoughts. Not yet at least, when he awoke the next day he knew he would be bombarded with these questions that seemed to have no possibly response. It would be considered lucky if his sleep wasn't tormented.

Itachi flinched when he heard a rustling of leaves and the familiar clack of the sandals the Akatsuki members were supposed to wear. He was met with his partner standing near his cloak, with an uneasy smile on his face "Were your kunai that dirty?" He asked without moving another step.

He immediately had his hands scrubbing vigorously under the surface of the water. He watched the blood mix with the water and float away, along with the signs of what he had done to himself yet again. He nearly forgot to answer his partner, _nearly _"They got a lot of blood on them this time. They will lose their sharp edge and effectiveness if left dirty too long." He explained calmly. That was another mistake. Itachi had hardly used his kunai at all, the target had been incredibly weak and his henchmen were even weaker.

The shark man stood silent for a while "That's true, Samehada isn't that good at taking in chakra if not cleaned every once in a while." He said, agreeing. Itachi heard his partner walk slowly over to him and was then covered in warmth. He blinked and noticed that Kisame had draped the cloak over his shoulders "The fire and everything is set for when you're done cleaning." The swordsmen said quietly.

When Itachi turned around, Kisame was gone and there was no trace of him other than the small indent he left in the ground when he arrived. The weasel cautiously raised his arms and brought the cloak tighter around him. He hadn't known he was shivering until the cloak was given back to him. Itachi stood up and put it on properly before heading back in the direction of the cave.

Once he arrived, he noticed Kisame was roasting five on sticks fish over the fire. The sharingan user felt slightly guilty since he usually helped catch the fish. His partner looked up and gave him a large grin. He patted the ground beside him with his large hand "You're just in time. The fish has finished."

After he made his way over and gingerly sat down beside his partner he gazed into the fire before losing himself in thought. Kisame took notice of the lack of attention in his usually alert partner's eyes. Concerned thoughts quickly came into his mind but he brushed them away 'Itachi knows how to take care of himself.' He gently scolded himself. Itachi would probably be insulted if he believed the shark man thought he was weak.

He reached forward and was careful not to touch the flames as he grabbed two sticks and offering one to Itachi "I can eat these forever." He said enthusiastically. Despite his light tone he noticed the time it took his partner to look away from the fire and lose the 'I'm-in-abyss-deep-thought-right-now-do-not-disturb' face. The weasel accepted the stick and blew on the fish gently before taking a bite.

Kisame took a bite of his own and realized it could use a bit of salt. Thankfully, he managed to take a few packages of salt at the last inn they were at. He reached for a bag and opened it, after some stirring around; he retrieved a few of the salt packages.

The taller man sprinkled some salt on his own fish and offered some to Itachi "It tastes a lot better with this." He explained. Itachi reached for the salt and their fingers softly brushed.

At that moment two completely different thoughts filled the two Akatsuki member's minds. Itachi had blushed a bit at the contact, becoming even more embarrassed because he was beginning to act like a fantasizing girl. Kisame noticed something peculiar about Itachi's fingers or more his finger nails.

Many believed Itachi had overall the superior eyesight, which was true in certain situations. But Kisame also had a very sharp eye and an even keener nose. He looked at Itachi's finger nails and noticed that there seemed to be blood under them and his sense of smell confirmed his suspicions. This was strange since if Itachi was cleaning his kunai then they would probably be very clean since they would be under water and Itachi always paid close attention to keeping his nails clean.

Kisame continued to ponder over his odd findings even until later that evening. Itachi had begun lying down and let out a small yawn "I'm going to sleep." He stated. Kisame nodded "Good night, Itachi." "Hn."

The former hidden mist shinobi stood quiet and leaned back against the cave wall. He wasn't tired yet and it wouldn't hurt to keep watch for a while since the villages have become more alert to the Akatsuki and more ANBU have been showing up recently 'We better head out first thing in the morning.'

Pein always told them to stay on the move while outside of the Akatsuki base and to try to cover their trail. Kakuzu and Hidan had met plenty of trouble since the Jashinist's ceremonies were too long and brought a lot of attention to them. Kisame chuckled quietly, remembering the frustration on Kakuzu's misfortune. The guy just had to kill some of his more decent and well-mannered partners.

The fire was slowly beginning to die down but Kisame didn't mind. It was about time for him to hit the hay as well because although he may not seem like it he was a man who indulged in the small pleasures such as sleeping. He pulled off his own cloak to use as a sort of blanket. As he lay down and scanned the eerily dark cave one more time a small, seemingly insignificant thought came to his mind 'Itachi never takes off his cloak.' He shrugged it off and allowed sleep to claim him easily.

Itachi looked around and was unable to move. No, he wasn't paralyzed with fear or shock but he was literally unable to move. He was sinking ever so slowly into an endless ocean of blood. The sluggish waves lapped up and oozed along his skin and pulled down on his cloak. His eyes scanned around and he could see figures in the far distance.

These ominous figures slowly made their way up to him and then he heard the groaning. Oh that terrible groaning. It started out as a low hum and then it grew loader and loader as they drew closer to him.

His eyes searched through the figures and his heart skipped a beat as he realized who these people were. They were his clan members. But they looked much different from when they were among the living. Their skin had turned into a dull gray color and they looked like they were starving. There were cuts along their bodies and the blood from the wounds seeped down into the surrounding blood. The eyes of the dead were pure white with no pupil but he could feel their gaze bearing down on him like an owl to a mouse.

One face among them caught his attention the most. It was his mother. Unlike the others, however, she was just the same as she was when she was alive. Her hair was perfectly kept as she had always made sure it looked presentable. Her eyes were closed and she had the same reassuring smile on her face whenever he tried to come to her when he had been trouble as a child.

Once they had become an arms distance away he began squirming around, to try to get away from them and the memories that had haunted him since the terrible acts he committed for the sake of his dear village and his even dearer little brother.

But his mother stopped him by placing a hand gently on his arm, then onto his cheek. His eyes examined her face and he managed out a small, almost animalistic, groan. His throat was too tight for words to come out and even if it wasn't, well his mind was racing and he couldn't do anything but stare with fear quite noticeable in his face and eyes,

"You've grown so much, Sweetie." She said just as gently as her fingertips which lightly caressed his cheek. He barely managed to choke out an almost inaudible "M-mother…"

The smile which was plastered on her face grew a bit wider yet her eyes were still closed "What's wrong Itachi?"

Before he could respond her smile grew wicked and seemed like a large gash on her face. When her eyes opened they were just black holes which were even more terrifying than the others eyes "For the sake of the village." She whispered quietly "That is why you killed us, to save the village and Sasuke from a war. It was a noble act indeed but a foolish one."

As Itachi closed his eyes to shield them from this horrible and distorted face that was once his loving mother, her hand reached up and held his eyes open and whispered in a terribly sweet voice "Don't look away, Itachi."

His breathing had become rapid along with his heartbeat and he fearfully gazed up at her face. Her hand drifted down back to his cheek "Do you really think you saved the village? One way or another war will break loose and Sasuke, as a shinobi, will be caught in it. Since he had to practically raise himself no one will be there to help and he will surely die alone on a battlefield then soon Konoha will forget all about the Uchiha and life will go on. You have condemned your clan and your brother from the moment you raised your blade against us."

She was yelling now and he was shaking very hard. He tried desperately to shake his head. The sacrifice he made would surely be worth it, his brother would be safe right?

A large hand pulled down on his cloak and then another onto his leg. Soon countless hands were pulling down on him and dragging him down into the dark red depths. Before his face had become fully submerged his mother gently place a kiss on his forehead. In a deep and very familiar voice she said "Wake up, Itachi!"

Itachi's eyes flashed open and his eyes immediately readied his Sharingan as he scanned the surrounding area. He was lying down on the ground with Kisame crouched next to him and one hand on his arm which a probably attempted shaking him awake.

Concern was written all over his face and when Itachi was ready to dismiss to his partner's concern no words came to mind. His dream came flooding back and all he could think of his mother who had said the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind ever since he had slaughtered his clan.

He sat up abruptly, startling Kisame and causing him to back up and immediately begin to apologizing "I'm sorry I woke you up. You seemed like you were having a bad dream or something and I had to make sure it was just a dream and not some jutsu that was place on you and-" He was cut off by a glare from Itachi.

That wasn't good. A glare from his usually stoic partner was never good. If you managed to piss off Itachi you know you royally screwed up and your life will end quite painfully.

The weasel stood up as quickly as he had sat up "I need to get a drink." Then he was gone.

Kisame was still crouching and was dumbfounded, having no idea what to do 'If he doesn't come back in a few minutes I'll check up on him.' He thought as his mind scrambled to come to terms of what had just taken place.

Itachi arrived back at the river and pulled out his kunai "Damn it." He hissed quietly, his face contorted in rage. The weasel kneeled down beside the river and brought down his kunai onto his exposed arm and reopened the wound from earlier.

The blood immediately began slide out around the kunai and drip down into the dark water. He shivered at the thought of the blood which had surrounded him in his dream.

He shook his head "Damn it." He said a bit louder this time. Itachi dragged the kunai down his arm and he bit his lip. The blood had splattered a bit onto his cloak. He removed it and decided he would wash it after he was done.

Ignoring the icy breeze, he slowly pulled his kunai out of the long and jagged wound. It resembled the distorted smile his mother had. "Damn it." He yelled.

He began violently slashing at his arm, not caring about the other cuts he was disturbing and soon his arm was covered in bleeding slits.

His breathing was heavy and from the fury he released onto his arm his hair had become disheveled. His eyes had widened in realization. This wasn't working.

His eyes locked onto his bloody, mangled arm yet the pain was still there. "Damn it!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His grip, which had briefly loosened, became so tight on his kunai that his knuckles turned white.

He could feel tears burning his eyes but he blinked them away. "Damn it!" He repeated over and over. He was yelling so loudly his throat burned but he continued to scream out loud.

Itachi relentlessly brought down his kunai onto his arm which was beginning to lose feeling. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts consuming his mind along with the light headedness which accompanied blood loss.

He HAD saved his village. He HAD saved his brother. He HAD stopped a civil war that would tear the country apart. Right? What if it was all for naught?

It couldn't possible have been in vain. If he hadn't done what he had done war would have broken out and lives would be lost and continue the cycle of hate that had been on a rampage in his clan for generations. Or would the hate his brother carried spread to others as well or worse, what if it never left him and thanks to Itachi, the flames of hate would be rekindled from Sasuke's own hate? Did he do any good by killing his clan? Everything Danzo had told him about what his clan would ended up doing had overwhelmed him and he so desperately wanted to save Sasuke that he killed them so a war wouldn't come to be and he would take the title of a criminal.

Danzo was telling the truth, war hadn't broken out then but what about later. Itachi had witnessed firsthand the cruelty of humans and how they treated one another. He quivered at the thought of his little brother facing war and worse with no family to return to. He had kept an eye on Sasuke and learned how cold he was and how he lacked friends.

He realized he condemned him to a lonely life because he was too consumed by his hate and his will to avenge his fallen clan. Itachi let a small whimper and paused for a moment.

He then raised his hand up and brought down his kunai "DAMN IT!"

Before it reached his arm a large hand had reached out and grabbed his wrist, stop it from slicing down his arm.

Itachi looked back to see Kisame with an unreadable expression on his face. Carefully the shark man stretched his hand out and pulled the kunai from Itachi's hand and placed in his cloak.

When he released Itachi's hand the weasel pulled his arm back as if trying to shield his arm from Kisame's sight. He hadn't made a noise since Kisame showed up.

To say he was confused would be an understatement. Kisame had known something was up with his partner but he hadn't expected this. He looked up at the weasel.

Itachi had his tired eyes trained on the ground. His hair was in disarray and he was shaking hard. Even in the darkness of the night his face was noticeable pale but that wasn't the worst of it. The former Konoha shinobi's arm was maimed and a bloody mess.

Kisame picked up the discarded cloak and handed it over to Itachi who practically snatched and quickly put it on with shaking hands.

He slowly bent down, not wanting to startle his partner. He wrapped his hand around the uninjured arm and pulled him up onto his feet.

Itachi immediately began to sway because he was dizzy from the blood he had lost. Kisame wanted to quickly get back to his campsite so he could tend to his still bleeding arm "Itachi, I'm going to pick you up so we can get back faster." It wasn't a question or a suggestion, it was a statement.

Itachi nodded slightly, not even giving his usual "Hn." Although the shark man tried, Itachi continued to avoid eye contact. He let out a defeated sigh and wrapped on arm around his shoulder and another under Itachi's knees. He scooped him up with ease and held him close, making sure not to place unnecessary pressure on his injured arm.

Itachi leaned his head against Kisame chest and his eyes were drooping from exhaustion.

Once they arrived back at the cave the fire was completely out. Kisame leaned Itachi against the wall of the cave before quickly rekindling the flames of the fire. When he was finished he noticed Itachi was eyeing the fire warily as if it were an unpredictable beast that would lunge at him on a whim.

Kisame grabbed his bag a pulled out first aid Kakuzu insisted they carry with them since he was tired of them coming to him for every little injury. He crossed the line when Deidara had stopped him from counting his money because a life threatening injury which turned out to be a paper cut from when he was making origami with Konan.

He scooted closer to Itachi and held out his hand expectantly. Then Itachi finally looked at him. He was taken aback at the despairing look that was in Itachi's eyes but he complied and held out his trembling arm.

Kisame took his arm and began to clean it "How long has this been going on Itachi?" He said in a hushed tone. Itachi flinched and tried pulling his arm back but Kisame had a firm grip on it. Silence was heavy in the air despite the crackling of the small fire the swordsman had started.

Itachi mumbled something, too quiet for the other to hear "What was that?" Itachi looked down, his disheveled hair shielding his face "I don't remember, it's been too long." Kisame grimaced at the words but nodded.

When he deemed the arm clean enough he began wrapping it "Why do you do this?" Itachi's breathing stopped and he tensed. He shook his head which was still bowed. Kisame tightened his grip in frustration but instantly loosened it when Itachi let out a small gasp from the pain.

Itachi's arm had finally been wrapped but Kisame didn't let go. Itachi moved his up and looked up at Kisame with a confused and worried expression on his face.

"I need to know what is wrong Itachi." He said gently, hoping his tone might soothe the weasel. Itachi just shook his head again.

Kisame looked down 'Well I guess I need to get serious.' He darted out his hand quickly and cupped the other's cheek and lifted his face up to meet his eyes. Itachi's eyes were wide with shock and he was biting on his lower lip.

The shark man let his thumb slowly caress his cheek and watched Itachi closely. His eyes were glassy like he was about to cry. "Itachi…" He whispered gently.

The weasel was shaking like a leaf in the wind and Kisame knew he wouldn't get anything out of him tonight so he decided to do what he could.

He pulled Itachi closer to him and into his lap. He stroked his hair and pressed Itachi's head to his chest with one hand. He wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his back.

Itachi leaned into the touch and his hair was covering the small smile on his face.

Cutting himself had brought him relief before but this time he brought him something he hadn't had in a very long time.

**The end!**

**I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Please review and request are welcome but they will take me a while to do XD**


End file.
